Spring in San Francisco: how much I miss you!
It is hard to believe that it has been less than three years since I left San Francisco because it feels centuries ago, like a past life. Sometimes I wonder if it really happened or I just imagined? I am just like a cat with nine lives and this is one of my past lives.
I am not sure what made me think of San Francisco in particular today. It is not like I talk about it often; what’s to talk about it? But I guess I suppressed many of my feelings after we left without looking back and I stopped talking about it and thinking about it so it would be easier. But I did find an old iPod when packing my things last week, with all the songs that reminded me of my life there. And I also came across some old pictures which I forgot I had when “cleaning” my Facebook account. So all old memories came flooding back…
Perhaps it has been my self-protective mechanism, but I need to stop pretending it never happened because I left so many precious things behind me, starting with people who I deeply cared about to so many amazing memories. It is sad that I lost touch with most of all these people over the years. And it hasn’t been that long! We kept writing to each other at first and promised to meet every time any of them would visit Europe but eventually emails came less and less frequently and eventually stopped. Maybe it is my fault because I didn’t try enough and was too busy building my new life in one country and then another, but I wish they put more effort also because it is hard to be the one always initiating the contact. On the other hand, I was the one who left them, no other way around. Maybe pretending that it never happened is easier for all of us to get through the separation? Ah, the question of the century.
But today I was reminiscing about something else. It is my third winter that seems to never end and I remembered those days when I wander the streets with flip flops all year around. I remembered the beautiful streets full of nature and the colourful spring that started around this time. I wish I never took it for granted and appreciated the warm weather we had. But I used to complain to my hubby instead that summers were not real summers because they were never hot enough. What a fool I was; since when a little of wind and fog killed someone… even if we had the same climate all the time? But let’s not dwell on the sad things. My favourite time of the year was when all cherry trees on College Avenue blossomed over night and I got to walk to BART (train station) underneath the trees full of big white blossoms every morning. I loved Berkeley and Oakland’s Rockridge district this time of the year. Berkeley is definitely one of my favourite cities in the San Francisco Bay Area and I loved living there every bit. Maybe it was too hard to admit it before, but now I am brave enough. I do miss you, San Francisco…. very much. With love, yours always Crazy Chess Girl.
P.S. All these pictures were taken on the same day on a short walk around the neighborhoud around this time a year. Enjoy.